Walker

So Elijah is now an official walker! It’s been about a week and a half, since his preference changed to walking full time. My job has increased in duties (”cooking duties… dead guy duties”–Nacho Libre). Many mothers have previously commented on how my life will become more busy when he begins to walk–and now this is true. He wants to go everywhere except in my direction. He loves walking around the house. He loves just walking. Oh, and he also troughs many tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. Patience I must learn and love. He is an adorable, cute, little trial

Remembering my Lolo

(written at Forest Lawn on the grass)

It’s been exactly one year since my Lolo died. I can remember it like it was yesterday, him picking me up at the back of the student union at Cal Poly in my high school days in his yellow car. I remember him getting into a car accident when we were on our way to school once. I remember him trying to whistle unsuccessfully until he chipped his tooth. Then he was able to whistle. I remember his cancer surgeries and us praying for his salvation and healing. I remember reading him the Scriptural passages that were pregnant with the gospel when he was sick, and he would translate and explain the gospel to me and then I would explain it back to him to clarify it. I remember thinking that he may not have understood the gospel in a saving way, but trusting God’s wisdom, goodness, and justice as Lolo professed faith in our Lord Jesus. I remembered that Grama and him would not sleep in the same bed, which was always strange to me. I remember walking with Lolo to the supermarket when we lived at the house on Arline Street. I remember Lolo wanted to fight me one time because Yek and I were cheering during a basketball game and he was startled by our cheers. I remember that Lolo did not know his anniversary date or his birth year. Or at least he never seemed sure. I remember Lolo spilling vinegar in his car when he was driving, then he reached down to pick it up, and then crashed his car into a tree in our neighborhood. Then he repainted the section yellow, but it was a different shade of yellow. Then he painted it with another two shades because he ran out of the first yellow paint. I remember him letting me drive. I remember him never turning the car radio on while the car was running because he wanted to save battery. I remember him saying to Jeff, Yek and I, as we were leaving to VBS, “Let’s go!” only to go in reverse when we all thought we were going to be moving forward. I remember him telling me to only give 1 dollar to the offering at church. I remember him telling me countless jokes and making the youth at our church laugh. I remember the “peace man” symbols he used to throw up in the most creative ways. I remember him fearing death, yet in some ways wanting to die already. I remember him not taking baths daily, but weekly. I remember arguing with my brother as to who was to cut his hair because we did not want to touch his hair. I remember his smile. I remember his love for Rachel, my cousin. I remember how he bought Faye a typewriter while she was in high school. I remember his love for boxing. I remember that he didn’t go to my wedding. I remember the countless times we prayed for his salvation. I remember him sick when Elijah was born, and waiting for him to come home so that we can show him his first great grandson. He did see him, but only a picture of him on a cell phone. I forgot what Lolo said about him.

I learned a lot from the Lord through my Lolo. I learned to laugh and joke in distinct ways. I learned to serve my family in whatever ways are useful. I learned to save money. I learned that staying with your family is important and a non-negotiable, divorce is not an option no matter which direction a marriage may turn. I learned to be friends with my wife and laugh a lot with her, he and Grama did enjoy each other in a “friendship” type of way. I learned that sharing the gospel with family members needs to be intentional and consistent and frequent, without being overbearing or rude. I think I could’ve turned a lot more conversations to conversations about Christ.

I wonder what Lolo’s doing right now. I do hope that he’s in the intermediate heaven, preparing up there with the rest of the saints for Christ’s return while at the same time celebrating Christ and communing with him up there in the intermediate heaven. If he is up there, it will only be because of his faith in Christ’s redemptive work as the grounds for his salvation and justification. Sometimes I wonder how well he understood that. I wish he could see Elijah and the joy he brings to our family. I wonder if God allowed him to see Elijah. That would be sweet. I want to live my life on earth with vigor and passion for God and Christ’s glory, because as I sit here in the cemetery I’m reminded of how short life is. Time flies. I remember when Lolo first came to the U.S. when I was in jr. high. I was so happy that he was here. And now he’s gone. Just like that. I knew him for about 14 years and flew by so fast. Life is a vapor as God says, so I better anchor my thoughts, hopes, and plans in Christ and in eternity.

Thank you Lolo, for reminding me of this. Enjoy Christ, and if the Lord wills, I’ll see you soon.

Our welcome to our blog from our old site on wordpress.com

This is our new family blog. Elijah just turned 1 yesterday and tomorrow it will be 1 year since Lolo died. Both of these landmark moments deserve a few thoughts written out. I will try to do that tomorrow.

Meanwhile, welcome to our new family blog. We pray it will serve as an encouragement to my family (Frances, Elijah, and I) as well as to any who reads it. The real reason we’re starting this blog is that our friend Ruby said that we can move from blog to book with all of our posts, but it won’t work from the xanga format. So here we are.

Elijah's Birthday Party & A Letter

Rock’s 1st birthday party was full of fun. A great time engaging with friends and family. It was nice preparing and planning his party. I was all over the place… At least I felt like it! I was nervous that I’d forget something last minute, but praise God it all worked out fine : ) A highlight of the party, were the kid games. Those kids were hilarious! Kenneth had me laughing, and Jude was adorable. We had a good amount of people show up. We expected 120-150 people. My former coworkers Mark, Norma, and Rose dropped by. My old high school friend, Marie Silva was suppose to stop by, but didn’t.

I can’t believe my baby is gonna be one…time flies. I made a slide show of him from his birth, and up until now, and I can’t believe how much he has changed. His little features are so different already! My biggest battle (so far) has been, remembering he is a “loaner” and he is ultimately God’s and he is not MINE to keep. Another big battle for me has been anxiousness (it has gotten a lot better-praise God), being anxious if something happened to Elijah. My final thought regarding the party, was no more parties…EVER! I was thinking I should do one every 5th. I had a good time but I was exhausted…I’m still recuperating : )

My biggest blessing- my 4 sisters hanging out and talking, this rarely happens.

PJ and I were suppose to speak before the cake cutting, but I decided not to (I didn’t have time to prepare). I would like to read Elijah a letter, poem, or tell him how he has been a blessing, every birthday, this could be a Tibayan tradition!

This is my letter to Elijah–

Dear Son,

You are cute and cuddly and I want to hug you and kiss you all day long! This wouldn't be a problem: ) Happy birthday! I'm amazed at how you have grown up so fast. I still remember the day they put you in my arms and said, “it’s a boy.” The joy that overwhelmed me was absolutely amazing. All the sleeplessness nights, crying, fatigue, lack of eating, bloatedness, pain, physical pain, the hospital stay, gaining 25-30Ibs., the hard to breathe stages, the endless twinkles, the eternal morning sickness, the startling kicks at work, the endless fat jokes, etc. I really could go on, and on. But these symptoms, or complaints never have or will measure up to the satisfaction and joy of caring for you this past year and the 9 months prior. It has been a true joy and an honor that the good Lord would give such a privilege to such a sinner like me. I have not acted deserving of this but I thank God for being so gracious.

He has taught me and shown me much sin in my life, and as marriage has been, owning you for now, has been sanctifying! I have learned patience, kindness, love, gratitude, accepting the unexpected, how to care for someone so helpless, trusting God, and multi-tasking. One of the biggest lessons, I’ve learned and still learning, is the reality that you are a “loaner” you do not ultimately belong to me, nor I to you. God cares for you and I, and being happy and satisfied in that truth should bring comfort to me. I must admit, I was paranoid for awhile. I would often be anxious of the day, and the endless possibilities of what harm could come to you, but having a gracious Father, he often rebuked me and reminded me, he knows best, even if that meant harm. So now I'm striving to believe and trust God’s promises, and lean on his understanding, not mine. Nothing has happened to you, but I pray if it does, that God will allow me to cling to the waterfall of grace, and seek him for comfort and be happy in him. Yes, I’m sure there will be pain, but I ask God that he will comfort me, with the comfort that no one can explain. Your life is just beginning, and I pray that I can help you grow into a man that fears and is satisfied with Jesus Christ. You are a loaner, as Piper says “our children are not our cause; they are given to us to train for a cause. They are given to us for a short season so that we can train them for the great causes of truth and mercy and justice in a prejudiced, pain-filled, and perishing world” (1)

For memory sake
-Party theme: safari
-Colors: red, yellow, orange, green and white
-his birthday party was on 4/7/07
-food: Juan Pollo, and carnitas from La Flor De Mexico

1 Piper John, “A Call for Coronary Christians,” in Life As A Vapor: Thirty-one meditations for your faith, p.63

Welcome to Christ and the Tibayan Family

This is our new family blog. Elijah just turned 1 yesterday and tomorrow it will be 1 year since Lolo died. Both of these landmark moments deserve a few thoughts written out. I will try to do that tomorrow.

Meanwhile, welcome to our new family blog. We pray it will serve as an encouragement to my family (Frances, Elijah, and I) as well as to any who reads it. The real reason we’re starting this blog is that our friend Ruby said that we can move from blog to book with all of our posts, but it won’t work from the xanga format. So here we are.

Sea World 4/10/07

Elijah and I (Frances) headed to Sea World with Elijah’s auntie Jennifer, auntie Brenda, Val, Matt, Sam, Yek, Leon, Nina, and Leon’s little sister. We had a good time, although I missed my husband and wanted him there so he can see Elijah’s fun reactions. Well, the older he gets the better the reactions will be. We had breakfast with daddy and all the others at Denny’s. I guess this is considered Elijah’s birthday week extravaganza!

D.A. Carson in Torrance

I was able to meet D. A. Carson this morning. It’s the third time I’ve met him to talk to him.

I was blessed that he was willing to come and speak at such a small venue. There were no more than 50 people in the room. Seeing such a world-class scholar minister in such an obscure venue taught me that I should be humble and serve Christ’s church. It also taught me that no venue is too small to serve when asked to speak and knowing when to agree to a venue should not be based on size alone or even primarily. More importantly I saw God’s heart for the church and his kindness in giving teachers to the church, and giving them the availability to teach and equip us.

I asked Carson what advantage would there be for me to do a Ph. D. if I wanted to pastor. First he suggested I get experience and find models of good pastoring. He highly recommended Mark Dever’s internship (like Dr. Barrick’s advice). He emphasized the importance of practical mentorship and pastoral experience. I hear that. He said, that once you do learn pastoring, know that the Ph.D. can make you an obscurantist and that one needs to be careful of that. Then he said that it will help in analytical skill and open up some opportunities that may otherwise not be there. He recommended Trinity as a place to do it as opposed to SEBTS, because it will be more broad in its exposure for me. Carson told me to go to a good school and don’t look at money alone. He told me that Trinity has many Ph. D. students there with half of the tuition provided for by scholarships and some students even have a free ride in regard to tuition. That kind of program attracts me because I feel that it will stretch me and that I’m incapable of doing what is required of me.

Carson’s sermons were a blessing to me too. He preached on John 20:24-31 (Doubting Thomas) (for the same message in a different context, click here) and Acts 17:16-31 (Telling the Truth to Biblical Illiterates, for the same message in a different context, click here).

I will apply the truth from the first message by articulating, defending, and propagating the truth. D. A. Carson said, “You increase faith by articulating, defending, and propagating the truth; not by saying to yourself, ‘Believe! Believe! Believe!’” I will also blog on the nature of faith according to the New Testament, because many today do not understand what faith is according to the biblical definition of it. I will also apply the message by sharing the gospel more with people, beginning with my neighbors, Leon, Matt and Mitchell at CFBC.

I will apply the second message by continuing to study the Bible, think in worldview terms, and learn how to communicate the gospel to unbelievers. I’ll read Questioning Evangelism, engage with people and respond to blog comments, and witness to my neighbors and the visitors that come to our church relying on the power of the gospel and being and sensitive to their views as I can be. I want to be culturally relevant without compromising anything that God does not want me to compromise. I think reading David Wells’ books and Driscoll’s books and Stetzer’s would help. Maybe I’ll take a few on my trip to the P. I.